*3*So*I*kicked*a*hole*in*the*desert*wall

So I have once again committed myself to The King of Kings, Jesus, and have moved out of a very interesting desert experience. I guess deserts are amazing for a few things, but not good if all you want to be is famous on a red carpet. Obviously mixing metaphors of deserts and red carpets will always end in tyranny or something else horrific, but fame what is fame? I mean, is fame a justifiable enough reason for swapping from a law degree to a music degree? Perhaps it is because law battles to travel over borders and music absolutely needs to travel. But is fame a good enough reason for losing friends and changing as a person? Never. However, if creating art is part of my calling and it reflects societal values in some way, then why not let it reach the red carpet after all? This success and fame issue is a long story including piracy and double-edged swords, but what I will elaborate on is this seasonal flow idea.

So I ended up kicking a hole in the wall of my desert because I had finally realized that my man-made house of cards had fallen down and had double backed and landed on top of me over the weakest part of the desert floor. This part of the desert floor is comparative to a section of ocean floor which has had an earthquake visit its region, which then becomes two tectonic plates either side of the underwater earthquake. Some have likened these earthquakes and other natural phenomena to the ‘stretch marks and pain experienced during childbirth – the birth-pangs of pregnancy’. The difference in the desert earthquake is that there’s less water and its easier for the earth’s gravity to pull you core-wards into eternal slumber in it’s sandy suffocating depths which means death (and yes I have thought of ending my life and no, I have never tried). With not wanting to be enveloped into the deep darkness of the world I was temporarily çul-de-sacéd at in, I EARTH-QUAKED my way out of the desert and in early August 2010, found myself in spring-time in Newlands, having caught up with the natural season of our Cape Town year. I had been placed on fertile soil and started sewing seeds of hope and productivity into my metaphorical garden of life on my parents property (it’s no coincidence that I was booked that month for one of the biggest SA festivals and follow-up shows called “Rocking The Daisies” and “Sewing The Seeds”. 

So this is my conclusion- I was given opportunities before my time, when I had gone into a situation for selfish rock star reasons and after I had been living as an actualized young adult with wisdom beyond my years. My financial adviser always says ‘’Hindsight is a good thing’’ and here that definitely applies because, simply, without beating myself up too much but realizing truly what was going on – I had failed a test. Fortunately like many, I am enrolled in the University of Second Chances so I got to do the summer school course and get to take the test again. How did I fail (I hope this can help someone)? From a desire deep within my soul to run like the wind*

I, we all, have this eternal desire to run hard and be free, free as a polystyrene cup being blown along a windy beach and to run along the atmosphere and climb the staircase of stars into space and explode into the night sky. This is good. However, my time running with no direction like a head-less chicken had led to being followed by the spirit of God, which in turn led to more running through the convenient faulty reasoning express-shop called Denial, which eventually led to my self-depreciating down-town destination called Loneliness. Take my advice : find something you believe in with all your heart and run in that direction with everything you’ve got.

Direction was the thing missing in the past while and although I was doing what I’m made to do (partially) it was directionless and with selfish motives. Now, run with inspiration and vigor in the direction you’re called to. This piece is from my first Ep in 2004.

Light

It’s the start of a brand new day, excitements in the air, we all join in one song

We, were meant to live, so stop wasting time and get up and go and live

As I cast off my blinders and I run past horizons I  realize I was born to fly

As I go on my journey hope I don’t miss my journey, Try to walk in the Light

All I have I received is from God

Even when I took myself to be my God

This is why, why I have no right to do anything but to go and live

As I cast off my blinders and I run past horizons i realize I was born to fly

As I go on my journey hope I don’t miss my journey, Try to walk in the Light

Why am I here only now, where was I was why asleep, this is where I’m meant to be

Thank you God for leading me, I’m so exposed without your touch, this is how we’re meant to live

Guide me now with your own thoughts, Your will be done just take the torch, I live because of You

It's been 5 years since I've been in the South African Music Industry, 9 years as a part-time drum teacher, the past 6 years not knowing what I really wanted out of life, and 10 years since God started courting me. I've had the amazing opportunity to play with the best, session for South African legends, jam with the international recording artists, audition and be chosen for the most influential in my field, open and close sets for international headliners, perform overseas, meet the best and see the worst become the best before my eyes...and I have come to a conclusion in my 26 years. That 'if' LIFE is merely 50 plus years for me, that I have to be doing what I need to do - what I am called to do - what I am made to do here on earth. After all aren't we actually really eternal beings only living temporarily through this body or avatar? (James Cameron strikes again!) Then no more ‘bashville’ living nor beating about the bush for me.

“The highest levels of consciousness are spiritual” Wynton Marsalis

This holistic understanding on worlds and consciousness has synchronized over the past eighteen months only and has been ''aligning'' as I have been awakening to higher truths of conscious living, as I’m sure with many others. Before an eternal perspective started revealing itself I was questioning in a very Parlotones kind of way ‘What the hell were we thinking, were we thinking at all’. Now I look back in a very Temper Trap kind of way realizing I just needed to ‘Soldier On’.